“I attract unstable men like honey attracts bees.” I read that quote in a book somewhere and unfortunately I forgot where I read it, but I didn’t forget the quote. As soon as I read that quote, it instantly stuck with me. I was the honey and the men I attracted were the bees. It was summer of 2017 and I had just ended a relationship with a man who was broke. I don’t mean financially broke, but him as a person. Months later I found myself in yet another relationship with you guessed it, another broken man. The first one had daddy issues, and the second one had mama issues. How was it that I kept attracting broke men? Well, I was broken myself and I didn’t know it.
I stayed in my second relationship because I wanted to know more. Why was he broken, who broke him, and how was this affecting his ability to love. In doing this, I learned I was also broken; and here we have two broken people in a relationship together. I had daddy issues and he had mama issues. I took a great deal of our relationship working on myself; getting to the root of my brokenness, and how it affected me. My mom and dad divorced when I was 4. I didn’t have a stable father figure in our home and when my mom married my step dad when I was 19, it was too late. People always think that women are the only ones who have mom and dad issues, but we neglect the fact that men can have the same issues and be broken as well. Good thing is that no matter if you are a woman or man, you don’t have to stay a victim of brokenness.
I must admit, the journey was rough; and it still is. I still struggle daily, but it gets better. To anyone who may be broken because of daddy or mama issues, the best advice I can give you is to get to the root of your problem. Sit down and figure out why you are the way you are. Maybe you didn’t receive enough attention at home, maybe one of your parents abandoned you, maybe you were molested. It is very vital that before you enter into a relationship that you deal with your inner problems and brokenness.What you struggle with when you are single will only magnify when you get into a relationship. You don’t want to get into a relationship and hurt others because you are hurt. If you are in a relationship and you are broken, it may be best to put things on hold and work on getting yourself together. Whatever your brokenness is, try to work on yourself and seek help if needed. Pray daily, seek God to help you, and ask God to search your heart. The answer to my question is simple. I was broken as well. Whatever it is that you attract, remember, we attract what we are.